Room 101 contains...
Automatic doors
Nice idea, shame about the implementation. Automatic doors are just so
crap! I really get pissed off when I approach a so-called automatic
door and the bloody thing sits there, steadfastly refusing to budge until
I'm one nanometre from the glass. Then, and only then does it start to
open... but OH SO SLOWLY! I hope that the inventor of the automatic door
has to spend enternity walking through an infinite number of automatic
doors that refuse to open.
Friday ([email protected])
Stupid pigeons
Well, it's obvious, isn't it? You're walking down the road and there's
a load of pigeons there all walking around like dickheads. Then as you get up to
them, they start walking a bit quicker as though they can outrun you. Soon, t
hey realise at the last minute that they have to get out of the way
quick so they take off and flap right into your face. Well,
IMNSHO, they should be taught to think a bit first. Clever pigeons - okay.
Stupid pigeons - get fucked.
Chris Lawrence ([email protected])
Manchester United
Manchester United are evil. That's all there is to it.
They cheat and play dirty but then they get away with it
which is just so damn annoying. Their fans are the smuggest
twats I've ever had the misfortune to meet. They think that they're
oh so original with the song they play at their home games, but forget
to mention that Spurs had it years ago.
They're always on the television and their manager is one of the most
paranoid people I've ever seen. He thinks that everyone is always after them
and had the audacity to complain about the FA last year.
They don't seem to remember that it was only a few years ago, that they avoided
religation by a gnats wing. In fact, it was because the great LFC beat West Ham.
Bugger.
Anyway, they're evil and I want rid of them now. =)
Cat ([email protected])
Melodrama
Right, if I have to hate something I'd better
make it this.
People who, lacking in
certain something up top (lets be nice to them)
think that they will appear both amusing
and attractive if they can spend
every moment of their stupid lives in some
sort of a crisis
The only good that can
ever come out of such a thing is the thought
that they will, with any luck, die of a heart
attack quite soon.
Jon Poole ([email protected])
France, the French and anything to do with that country
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this because I'm
predjudiced. I'm one of the most anti-predjudice people
you could ever hope to meet. But there's something about
the French which enfuriates nearly the whole world.
They're arragant, they conduct nuclear testing, they make horrible
foods, they as-good-as gave up on us in WW2, their language is designed
just to "sound nice" and I've never met a French person who didn't annoy me.
To make it all worse, the way that French is forced upon you in the
education system is horrible. I have reached a conclusion that French is
the language of Evil and that all teachers of this evil tongue are called "Damien"
or "Lucifer".
Cat ([email protected])
Ignorant Americans who refuse to pronounce things
Americans: please pronounce places in England they way they are pronounced here. Norwich is
"Norritch". Edinburgh is "Edinborough". Leicestershire is "Lestershire" not
"Ly-sester-shyre" and the same for Worcestershire "Woo-ster-shire" and so on and
so forth. Please, take head, or I shall start pronouncing "Illnois" with the "s".
Neil Kearns ([email protected])
People who look amazed and delighted at the first sight of snow each year.
You know these people. It's, say, halfway through December, and the snow has started to fall. These people look out the window and say (each and every one of them, without expection) :
"Ooohh! look! It's snowing !"
with a look of childlike wonder on their faces. Like they haven't seen it before. I mean, it only ever happens EVERY FUCKING YEAR ! Do these people really have such short memories ? Do they get home at night and go "Oooh! look! my house!" or "Oooh! look!
a television set!"
And just what, may I ask, is so great about the stuff anyway ? I have 2 words to define snow : Cold and fucking wet. That's it; that's all you need to know about the stuff.
Next person to say "Oooh! look! it's snowing!" to me is gonna get a hell of a closer look at the stuff than they planned.
obscurity ([email protected])
"Webmaster"
Who the hell thought that the people who look
after websites should be called "webmasters"?
I would like to shake that person by the throat.
There is nothing in the job description that
justifies being called "master". A child with a
"Idiots Guide to HTML" could be a "webmaster".
I am putting forward a new title, in the place of webmaster -
WebGeek - Ithenkyou
ChrisG ([email protected])
