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Archive-name: tv/red_dwarf-faq
Last-modified: 1996/01/24
Version: 5.07

                     Version 5.07, 24 January 1996
                     Maintained by Patrick M. Berry


  New or changed information is marked with a vertical line in the left

  Added videotape source for Sweden.
  Added composer and vocalist for RED DWARF theme song.
  Added definitions of madras sauce, bhindi bhaji, and tarka dhall.
  Replaced definition of gazpacho soup with a better one.
  Added latest news about Series Seven.
  Added three new WWW pages.
  Added the demon ftp site and deleted Dave Gagne's site (now offline).
  Updated the IRC information.
  Added a new fanzine.


  What is RED DWARF?
  Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?
  Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?
  Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?
  Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?
  Did RED DWARF start on radio?
  Is there an American version of RED DWARF?
  Who is Grant Naylor?
  Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show?
  What does "smeg" mean?
  What are the lyrics to the theme song?
  What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?
  What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?
  Why is Holly now a woman?  How did Kryten change?
  What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?
  What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?
  Will there be a Series Seven?
  Was Craig Charles arrested for rape?
  What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?
  What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?
  What are they really saying in "Backwards?"
  Who is Gordon Bennett?
  How many times has Rimmer had sex?
  How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?
  How can Rimmer leave the ship?
  How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?
  How many times has Starbug crashed?
  Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?
  What's in canister 1121?
  Are there books about RED DWARF?
  Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?
  Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?
  Should I post RED DWARF graphic images or sounds?
  Are there RED DWARF magazines?
  Is there a RED DWARF computer game?
  Has RED DWARF won any awards?
  What are the Space Corps Directives?


  This FAQ List was originally created by Michael J. Montoure and Renee
  Ann Byrd.  New information for this version was contributed by the
  following people:

  Kev Davis
  J. Dondzil
  Danny Farrell
  Dave Gagne
  Neil Jackson
  Adam Jewell
  Coran Jones
  Richard Lee-Buxton
  Bette Llewellyn
  Rickard Lundgren
  Jim Shaun Lyon
  Rev. Andrew Mossberg
  Michael Nagy
  Mat Page


  The current version of this list is posted every 14 days to
  alt.tv.red-dwarf, alt.answers, and news.answers.  You can access it at
  any time by the following methods:


  (Look under R for RED DWARF.)


  You can also request the FAQ List by email from the FAQ archives at
  MIT.  Send a message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the following as
  the body of the message:

  send /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf-faq

  If you can't get a copy by any of the methods described above, email
  me (pat@berry.Cary.NC.US) and I'll send you a copy.


  This document is Compilation Copyright 1993-1995 by Patrick M. Berry.
  It may be freely redistributed in its entirety provided that this
  copyright notice is not removed.  It may not be sold for profit or
  incorporated in commercial documents without the written permission of
  the copyright holder.


Subject: What is RED DWARF?

  RED DWARF is a British science fiction comedy series that has been on
  the air in the U.K. since 1988.  It is the brainchild of "Grant
  Naylor", a creative team consisting of Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, who
  write and produce the show.  The premise of the show is best summed up
  by the opening narration used in the first series:

  "This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf.  The
  crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak.  The only survivors are
  Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and
  his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold.  Revived three
  million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who
  evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one
  of the dead crew." --- Holly, the ship's computer

  The regular cast of the series is:

  Dave Lister...............................Craig Charles
  Arnold Rimmer..............................Chris Barrie
  Holly.....................................Norman Lovett (series 1-2)
                                          Hattie Hayridge (series 3-5)
  The Cat................................Danny John-Jules
  Kryten.................................Robert Llewellyn

  RED DWARF is also a series of novels based on the TV show.  The novels
  greatly expand on, and are greatly different from, the show.  Many of
  the same ideas appear in the novels, but these ideas are put together
  in new and interesting ways.  Three novels have been published so far:

  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-012437-3
  Penguin, 1989

  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-012438-1
  Penguin, 1990

  by Doug Naylor
  ISBN 0-67-085255-4
  Viking, 1995

  To everyone's surprise, THE LAST HUMAN was written by Doug Naylor
  only.  The paperback edition will be published in October 1995.  Rob
  Grant has expressed interest in writing a book based on RED DWARF, but
  it's not known whether he will do so.

  The first two novels have also been published in one volume:

  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-017466-4
  Penguin, 1991

  This combined rerelease also contains the script for "Dave Hollins,
  Space Cadet" (one of the SON OF CLICHE sketches that started it all --
  see "Did RED DWARF start on radio?"), a reproduction of the beer mat
  on which the idea for Red Dwarf was allegedly first written, and the
  original script for "The End" (the first episode of the series).


Subject: Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?

  RED DWARF is seen on public television stations across the country. If
  your local PBS station doesn't show it, write to them, and convince
  your friends to write to them, until they do!  All six series are
  available for purchase by PBS member stations.

  If you don't know when (or if) your local PBS station shows RED DWARF,
  check your local listings or call the station and ask.  Please don't
  post the question to alt.tv.red-dwarf; that will send it all over
  the planet, annoying people who don't know or care about your local
  station's programming.  Besides, the other methods are faster.


Subject: Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?

  Videotapes of Series 1 through 6 are available at video stores in the
  throughout the British Commonwealth and in the U.S.

  In Australia, all episodes are available from ABC stores (along with
  books, T-shirts, and other RD merchandise).

  In the Netherlands, you can get them from W.H. Smith stores.

| In Sweden, Series 1-5 and the Smeg-Ups tape are available from:
|       SF-Bokhandeln
|       Stora Nygatan 45
|       111 27 Stockholm.
|       Telephone: 08/21 50 52.
|       Fax: 08/24 77 30.
|       E-mail: order@sfbok.se
|       WWW: http://www.sfbok.se/sfbok/sfbok.html

  [Let me know about availability in other countries and I'll add the
  information here. -- PMB]

  The alt.comedy.british FAQ List includes an excellent list of
  mail-order dealers who will ship British comedy videotapes to overseas
  customers.  Refer to:


  "Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups," a collection of outtakes from the series, was
  released on video in the fall of 1994.  At this writing, it is
  apparently available only in the U.K. and Australia.


Subject: Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?

  You can order RED DWARF stuff (books, books on tape, T-shirts,
  baseball caps, SMEGAZINE back issues, NTSC videotapes, etc.) from
  John McElroy.  For a free catalogue, write to:

  2401 Fox Plaza
  1390 Market Street
  San Francisco, CA 94102 USA

  T-shirts, greeting cards, and other items can be ordered by mail from:

  Distribution Network
  12 Deerpark Road
  SW19 3TU
  Telephone: 0181-543-1231

  Most of the RED DWARF-related books can be ordered from:

  Star Tech
  Box 456
  Dunlap, TN 37327

  Merchandise is also available from some of the fan clubs (see "Are
  there RED DWARF fan clubs?").  The Official RED DWARF Fan Club (U.K.)
  has its own line of merchandise.  The New Zealand-based fan club Zed
  Shift operates a mail-order service for members living in New Zealand.

  Other sources of RED DWARF memorabilia are listed in the book THE
  MAKING OF RED DWARF (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?").


Subject: Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?

  The RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?")
  contains an extensive episode guide for the series.  If you're looking
  for an electronic guide, Otto Heuer 
  maintains a very good one, available by anonymous ftp:


  To get you started, here's a quick list created by Dale Clayton

  Series 1 - 1988                      Series 2 - 1988

  1 The End....................15 Feb   7 Kryten.................... 6 Sep
  2 Future Echoes..............22 Feb   8 Better Than Life..........13 Sep
  3 Balance of Power...........29 Feb   9 Thanks for the Memory.....20 Sep
  4 Waiting For God............ 7 Mar  10 Stasis Leak...............27 Sep
  5 Confidence & Paranoia......14 Mar  11 Queeg..................... 4 Oct
  6 Me^^2......................21 Mar  12 Parallel Universe.........11 Oct

  Series 3 - 1989                      Series 4 - 1991

  13 Backwards.................14 Nov  19 Camille...................14 Feb
  14 Marooned..................21 Nov  20 D.N.A.....................21 Feb
  15 Polymorph.................28 Nov  21 Justice...................28 Feb
  16 Bodyswap.................. 5 Dec  22 White Hole.................7 Mar
  17 Timeslides................12 Dec  23 Dimension Jump............14 Mar
  18 The Last Day..............19 Dec  24 Meltdown..................21 Feb

  Series 5 - 1992                      Series 6 - 1993

  25 Holoship..................20 Feb  31 Psirens................... 7 Oct
  26 The Inquisitor............27 Feb  32 Legion....................14 Oct
  27 Terrorform................ 5 Mar  33 Gunmen of the Apocalypse..21 Oct
  28 Quarantine................12 Mar  34 Emohawk: Polymorph II.....28 Oct
  29 Demons and Angels.........19 Mar  35 Rimmerworld............... 4 Nov
  30 Back To Reality...........26 Mar  36 Out of Time...............11 Nov


Subject: Did RED DWARF start on radio?

  Not exactly.  Rob Grant and Doug Naylor wrote the short-lived radio
  series SON OF CLICHE (broadcast for two six-episode seasons on BBC
  Radio 4 in 1984).  In an ongoing series of sketches, a space cadet
  named Dave Hollins was trapped alone on a spaceship with a slightly
  senile computer called HAB.  (The voice of HAB was provided by Chris
  Barrie, the actor who plays Rimmer in RED DWARF.)  Many of the ideas
  and jokes from these sketches were later incorporated into RED DWARF,
  but there is no direct connection.
  The script for one of the "Dave Hollins, Space Cadet" sketches is
  included in the RED DWARF OMNIBUS (see "What is RED DWARF?").


Subject: Is there an American version of RED DWARF?

  No, not really.  The NBC network expressed interest in an American
  version of the show and two pilots were made by Universal, but no
  series was ever produced.

  The first pilot was written by Linwood Boomer and filmed on 22 January
  1992 at Universal City Studios in Los Angeles.  The cast included the
  following actors:

  Dave Lister.................................Craig Bierko
  Arnold Rimmer.............................Chris Eigelman
  Holly........................................Jane Leeves
  Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
  The Cat....................................Hinton Battle
  Christine Kochanski...................Elizabeth Morehead
  First Officer Munson...................Michael Heintzman
  Captain Tau...........................Lorraine Toussaint

  Grant Naylor served as technical consultants.  Robert Llewellyn (from
  the BBC cast) reprised his role as Kryten.  (Some fans may also
  recognize Jane Leeves from the American comedies MURPHY BROWN and
  FRAZIER.)  The plot was a retelling of "The End", with some elements
  of "Future Echoes" thrown in for good measure.  Some surprising and
  odd changes were made: for example, Lister was transformed into a
  clean-cut and well-dressed Caucasian, and the H on Rimmer's forehead
  was replaced with a silver marble.

  After rejecting this version, NBC commissioned a second pilot with the
  following cast:

  Lister......................................Craig Bierko
  Rimmer....................................Anthony Fuscle
  Holly........................................Jane Leeves
  Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
  Cat........................................Terry Farrell

  The second pilot was not a complete episode, but rather a promo that
  combined scenes from the first pilot and newly filmed segments
  spotlighting the new cast members.  This pilot fixed some problems
  (such as restoring Rimmer's H), but had more odd changes, such as
  casting a woman as the Cat.  (Terry Farrell went on to play Jadzia Dax
  on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.)  The second pilot was also rejected,
  and the proposed series was shelved indefinitely.

  [Does anyone know who wrote the second pilot, or when and where it was
  filmed? -- PMB]

  Neither pilot has ever been aired or released on videocassette, but
  bootleg copies of the first pilot can be found at science fiction
  conventions.  (The second pilot does not seem to have fallen into the
  hands of bootleggers.)

  A redesigned Kryten suit (of somewhat better quality than the old BBC
  version) was made for the U.S. pilots by a California-based special
  effects house.  When the pilots were rejected, Robert Llewellyn got to
  keep the new suit and wore it in Series Six.

  A persistent rumor (printed in the British tabloid SUNDAY MIRROR in
  June 1994) claims that an American movie studio is planning to make a
  RED DWARF film starring Eddie Murphy and Ted Danson.  There appears
  to be no factual basis for the rumor.

Subject: Who is Grant Naylor?

  The "About the Author" note in the RED DWARF novels (see "What is RED
  DWARF?") has this to say about the creator(s) of the series:

  "Grant Naylor is a gestalt entity occupying two bodies, one of which
  lives in north London, the other in south London.  The product of a
  horribly botched genetic-engineering experiment, which took place in
  Manchester in the late fifties, they try to eke out two existences
  with only one mind.  They attended the same school and the same
  university, but, for tax reasons, have completely different wives.

  The first body is called Rob Grant, the second Doug Naylor. Among
  other things, they spent three years in the mid-eighties as head
  writers of SPITTING IMAGE; wrote Radio Four's award-winning series
  SON OF CLICHE; penned the lyrics to a number one single; and created
  and wrote RED DWARF for BBC television.

  They have made a living variously by being ice-cream salesmen,
  shoe-shop assistants and by attempting to sell dodgy life-assurance
  policies to close friends.  They also spent almost two years on the
  night shift loading paper into computer printers at a mail-order
  factory in Ardwick.  They can still taste the cheese 'n' onion

  Their favourite colour is orange."

  Grant Naylor's number one single was "The Chicken Song," a SPITTING
  IMAGE spinoff.  Philip Pope composed the music and produced the
  record, which was released in 1986 by Virgin Records.


Subject: Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show?

  The Official RED DWARF Fan Club (UK) (see "Are there RED DWARF fan
  clubs?") will forward mail to the cast and crew.  They do not open the
  mail if a covering letter explains what it is and asks for it to be


Subject: What does "smeg" mean?

  The characters in the show use it as an all-purpose profanity.
  Apparently derived from "smegma," the term for a particularly
  unpleasant bodily secretion, the slang term "smeg" was reportedly in
  use in England before the show premiered, although not commonly.
  Grant Naylor presumably adopted this little-known bit of Scouse
  profanity as a blanket replacement for all other swearing, to keep
  them out of trouble with the BBC and to poke fun at the long-standing
  convention in science-fiction of inventing futuristic slang.


Subject: What are the lyrics to the theme song?

  It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
  I'm all alone, more or less
  Let me fly far away from here
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

  I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
  Drinking fresh mango juice
  Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

  There has been much debate over the "goldfish" line -- it is not sung
  very clearly, and some fans think it is simply "Goldfish *are*
  nibbling."  However, in the "Smeg-Ups" tape (see "Where can I get
  videotapes of RED DWARF?"), Robert Llewellyn recites the theme song
  lyrics, and they are as listed above.  (A "shoal" is a school of

| The theme song was composed by Howard Goodall and sung by Jenna
| Russell.


Subject: What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?

  Red Dwarf is a bilingual ship, with English and Esperanto as the two
  official languages.  "Nivelo" is the Esperanto word for "level".  The
  signs in the corridors of the ship simply indicate (in both languages)
  what level you're on.

  Esperanto is a real language, developed in the the 1880s by Polish
  ophthalmologist L.L. Zamenhof.  The episode "Kryten" establishes that
  Lister, Holly, and Kryten all speak at least some Esperanto.  Rimmer
  is shown trying -- and failing -- to learn Esperanto from a videotape.

  The name "Esperanto" means "one who hopes," a fact that is alluded to
  in "Back to Reality."


Subject: What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?

  "Vindaloo," the most frequently mentioned food item on the show, is a
  very, very hot Indian curry dish.  Most Indian restaurants have them
  on the menu.  They can contain almost any variety of meat, thus
  Lister's references to "mutton vindaloo," "chicken vindaloo," etc.

| "Madras sauce" is another standard curry sauce, less hot than
| vindaloo.

  "Poppadoms," another Indian food item, are thin lentil-flour wafers
  resembling tortillas, deep-fried until crisp.
  A "shami kebab" is an appetizer served in Indian restaurants.  It
  consists of finely ground meat and lots of spices, grilled over a
  flame.  The meat is a mixture of pork and either goat (in more
  authentic restaurants) or beef (in less authentic ones).  You
  typically get two shami kebabs with a salad side dish.  Shami kebabs
  are sometimes prepared and served in an egg coating, similar to an

  "Chutney" is a fruit piccalilli (pickled relish), often eaten with
  cold meat.

| "Gazpacho soup" is a Spanish tomato-and-cucumber cold soup which often
| includes garlic, olive oil, and bread.  It's common in Spain and in
| upscale American restaurants.

  A "pot noodle" is an instant noodle product marketed in the U.K. by
  Golden Wonder, a snack food company.  It's a plastic container with
  pre-cooked dried noodles and flavorings inside.  To prepare it, you
  open the container, pour in boiling water, wait a few moments, and eat

  A "kipper" is a herring, cured by splitting, salting, and smoking.
  Kippers are eaten as a breakfast food in some parts of the U.K.

  A "Topic Bar" is a candy bar sold in the U.K., consisting of fondant
  and hazelnuts covered with chocolate.  (This is what Lister means in
  "Marooned" when he says "Don't mention Topics, they're food.")  One ad
  campaign for the Topic Bar used the slogan "A hazelnut in every bite."
  Thus, in "Stasis Leak", Rimmer complains, "Everything always goes
  wrong for me.  I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a
  Topic Bar without a single hazelnut in it."

  "Taramasalata" is a Greek appetizer consisting of a light paste of fish
  roe, olive oil, lemon juice, and moistened bread crumbs or mashed

| "Bhindi bhaji" is a vegetable dish made with hard-to-describe green
| vegetable.
| "Tarka dhall" is a mild curry dish based on lentils.

Subject: Why is Holly now a woman?  How did Kryten change?

  The original actor to play Holly, Norman Lovett, left the series after
  a dispute over his salary.  In an interview with RED DWARF SMEGAZINE
  (issue 9, November 1992), Lovett said that he asked to be paid the
  same as the other actors on the series, but his request was turned
  down.  Hattie Hayridge had appeared in "Parallel Universe" as Hilly,
  Holly's female counterpart.  "When Norman said he wasn't doing another
  series, I auditioned," she recalls.  The character of Holly kept the
  same name and personality despite the recasting.

  Kryten's original actor, David Ross, wasn't available to commit to a
  series when Grant Naylor decided to make Kryten a continuing
  character, so he was replaced by Robert Llewellyn.  (Ross later
  returned in "White Hole" as the new voice of Talkie Toaster.)  There
  were also several changes in the show's look between Series Two and
  Three, including changes in costumes, sets, and miniatures,
  particularly the addition of the Starbug and its hangar bay.

  Most of these changes are more or less explained by the following
  words that scroll rapidly up the screen at the beginning of

  "Three million years in the future, Dave Lister, the last human being
  alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self
  in a parallel universe.  His pregnancy concludes with the successful
  delivery of twin boys, Jim and Bexley.  However, because the boys were
  conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they
  suffer from highly accelerated growth rates and are both eighteen
  years old within three days of being born.  In order to save their
  lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they
  are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead
  comparatively normal lives.  Well, as normal as you can be if you've
  been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your
  mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your
  birth.  Shortly afterward, Kryten, the service mechanoid, who had left
  the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, the Nova 5,
  is found in pieces after his space bike crashed into an asteroid.
  Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former
  personality.  Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic computer,
  performs a head sex change operation on himself.  He bases his new
  face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in
  It *is* possible to read all this, using a VCR with good freeze-frame
  capabilities.  Try it.


Subject: What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?

  Throughout Series Six, the characters travel aboard Starbug; the Red
  Dwarf (and Holly) don't appear at all.  This tends to confuse viewers
  who missed the explanation in "Psirens".

  Briefly, what happened is this: Lister parked the Red Dwarf in orbit
  around a planetoid, and then forgot which planetoid it was.  "They're
  all the same, those little blue-green planetoids.  Blue-green and
  planetoidy."  Subsequently, Red Dwarf was stolen "by persons or
  lifeforms unknown."  Starbug followed the ship's vapor trail for over
  200 years, with Lister and the Cat in deep sleep and Rimmer switched
  off to conserve power.  At the first opportunity to actually catch up
  with Red Dwarf, Kryten revived the others, and the saga continued . . .

  The real reason for the change was to eliminate Holly from the show.
  According to Hattie Hayridge, the parts for Holly and the Cat had both
  been getting smaller and smaller.  Grant Naylor decided to drop one of
  the characters and expand the other.  It was easier to drop Holly
  because many of her lines could be given to Kryten instead.

| At a convention in January 1996, Doug Naylor anounced that *both*
| Lovett and Hayridge will be signed for Series Seven.


Subject: What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?

  The "Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups" videotape includes an ending for "Out of
  Time" that was filmed, but never used.  LizBeth258@aol.com describes
  the ending as follows:

  "Rimmer blows up the time drive.  Seconds later, a laser cannon blast
  blows up one of the Starbugs, while a second one is seen flying in the
  upper right-hand corner of the screen.

  In the next scene, Kryten is carrying a pitcher of yellow liquid into
  Starbug's hold while Rimmer, Lister and Cat are seated around the
  table with wine glasses in front of them.  Kryten explains that they
  were never killed because Rimmer's actions in blowing up the time
  drive caused their future selves to cease to exist and notes that
  Rimmer had in fact saved the day.  Rimmer grins broadly and tells
  Kryten that it was nothing and not to mention it while Lister claps
  him on the shoulder.  Kryten then pours the 'homemade magaritas' into
  all four glasses and passes on better news: they are now a mere six
  hours behind Red Dwarf and that there is no doubt in his mind that
  they'll be able to catch up.

  Kryten proposes a toast 'to the present' and all four click glasses
  and take a drink.  Lister, wearing a foam mustache, makes a horrible
  face and exclaims that they aren't drinking magaritas, they're
  drinking 'urine recyc' and glares at Kryten.  Rimmer and Cat, with
  their matching foam mustaches, also making nasty faces, give Kryten a
  dirty look.  Kryten, with his foaming mustache, slouches with
  embarrassment in his chair."


Subject: Will there be a Series Seven?

  Apparently so.  In May 1995, the BBC answered a letter to the RADIO
  TIMES with this statement: "A seventh series and a Christmas special
  have been commissioned for 1996."  No contracts have yet been signed,
  although Grant Naylor stood behind Craig Charles throughout his trial
  (see "Was Craig Charles arrested for rape?") and have every intention
  of using the regular cast for Series Seven.  However, Chris Barrie is
| currently describing himself as being "in dispute with the show".  In
| May 1995, Barrie was asked "Are you going to do anymore Red Dwarf?"
| and replied "I really don't know, yet."

| In November 1995, Robert Llewellyn stated: "Rumours that Red Dwarf has
| already started being recorded are profoundly untrue, unless it's a
| different Red Dwarf, in a different reality, with a different cast,
| crew, writers and television network funding the project. I can
| catagorically state without a shadow of doubt that we have not started
| recording series 7 yet.  The scripts are being written as I type, I
| haven't got my novelty condom head on, and Danny John-Jules doesn't
| have the teeth in."


Subject: Was Craig Charles arrested for rape?

  Yes, but he was cleared of all charges.

  On 8 July 1994, Esther Harman (a former stripper and Charles's
  ex-girlfriend) filed a charge of rape against him.  Charles was
  arrested, imprisoned, and denied bail.  On 25 October, after being
  attacked (but not wounded) by a fellow inmate wielding a homemade
  knife, Charles was released on bail.

  The trial began on 20 February 1995 and lasted for two weeks.  No
  forensic evidence was shown to exist proving that a rape had occurred.
  In his instructions to the jury, the judge stated that just because a
  woman claims to have been raped doesn't mean she actually was. The
  jury took less than ninety minutes to find Charles not guilty.
  Afterwards, Charles made an emotional appeal to the press for the
  anonymity of those accused of rape.


Subject: What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?

  "Parallel Universe," according to the RADIO TIMES and the label of the
  BBC videotape release.  No title in given the episode, which begins
  with a musical number instead of the usual titles sequence.


Subject: What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?

  "Parallel Universe" begins with a musical number that turns out to be
  a dream had by the self-centered Cat.  The studio audience's laughter
  makes the lyrics a little hard to understand, but combining a couple
  of different posters' ideas of what they were gave us this:

  The Cat:                                      Chorus -- Lister and Rimmer:
  When I saw you for the first time             (first time)
  My knees began to quiver                      (quiver)
  And I got a funny feeling                     (feeling)
  In my kidneys and my liver                    (digestive system baby)
  My hands they started shakin'                 (shakin')
  My heart began a-thumpin'                     (boom boom boom)
  My breakfast left my body                     (huey huey huey)
  It all really tells me something
  Girl you make me tongue tied                  (tongue tied)
  Tongue tied, whenever you are near me         (near me)
  Tied tongue                                   (tied tongue)
  Tied tongue                                   (tied tongue)
  Whenever you're in town
  I saw you 'cross the dance floor              (dancin')
  I thought of birds and bees                   (reproductive system baby)
  And when I tried to speak to ya               (talk talk)
  My tongue unraveled to my knees               (flippety-flippety-flop)
  I tried to say I love you                     (love you)
  But it came out kind of wrong, girl           (wrong girl)
  It sounded like "Nunubididoo"                 (tongue tied)
  Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl
  'Cause you make me tongue tied                (tongue tied)
  Tongue tied, whenever you are near me         (near me)
  Be-dobby-durgle                               (dobby-durgle)
  Tongue tied                                   (tongue tied)
  Whenever you're around
  Oh I'm beggin' on my knees
  Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
  Understand me when I say
  I'm trying to say nungy-nangy                 (nangy-nungy)
  Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly     (clearly)
  Be-dobby-durgle                               (dobby-durgle)
  Durgle-dobby                                  (durgle-dobby)
  Whenever you're around                        (around)
  Whenever you're around                        (around)

  In the fall of 1993, "Tongue Tied" was released as a single in England
  and rose to #17 in the Gallup UK Top 40.  The artist was listed simply
  as "The Cat."  A music video of "Tongue Tied" was reportedly shown on
  the TOP OF THE POPS show in England and on MTV in the States. Copies
  of the video (and a half-hour program on the making of the video) are
  available from John McElroy (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF


Subject: What are they really saying in "Backwards"?

  Most of the reversed dialogue in the episode "Backwards" is pretty
  much either what the subtitles say it is or what you'd expect from
  context; some of it actually appears to be random noise.  There are
  two good exceptions, however.
  When Lister and the Cat steal a bicycle, its owner yells after them,
  "You scoundrels!  Return my bike immediately!" -- at least, according
  to the subtitles.  What he actually says, however, is, "Oi!  Hey!  Oi,
  you robbing bastards, that's our tandem!"

  Later, when the stage manager comes in to yell at Rimmer and Kryten,
  he appears to be blaming them for starting the "fight." Here's what
  he's actually saying:

  "Frankly, your act's crap.  Anyway, anybody could have done it.  I
  hate the lot of you.  Bollocks to you! . . . You are a stupid,
  square-headed, bald git, aren't you?  I ain't pointing at you, I'm
  pointing at you.  But I'm not actually addressing you, I'm addressing
  the one prat in the country who's bothered to get hold of this
  recording, turn it round, and actually work out the rubbish that I'm
  saying.  What a poor, sad life he's got!"


Subject: Who is Gordon Bennett?

  "Gordon Bennett" is a name used by the characters, most notably Holly,
  as an expletive ("Gordon Bennett!  What was that?").  James Gordon
  Bennett (1841-1918) was an American newspaper tycoon and multi-
  millionaire who is listed in the GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS for
  "Greatest Engagement Faux Pas."  Bennett's engagement to Caroline May
  was broken in 1877 after he arrived late and drunk at the May family's
  New York mansion and urinated in the living room fireplace in front of
  his hosts.  Today, Bennett's name is used as an expression of
  disbelief in England, and is essentially a euphemism for "God".


Subject: How many times has Rimmer has sex?

  Only once while he was alive, with Yvonne McGruder, the ship's female
  boxing champion ("Thanks for the Memory").  The story he tells Lister
  in "Marooned", about losing his virginity in the back seat of his
  brother's car, appears to be false.  Rimmer has had simulated sex in a
  virtual reality game ("Better Than Life") and holographic sex with
  another hologram ("Holoship").


Subject: How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?

  In "The End", Todhunter says "There are 169 people on board this
  ship."  Yet in "Justice", the Justice Computer charges Rimmer with
  1,167 counts of murder for causing the deaths of the entire crew.
  What gives?

  RED DWARF is full of minor inconsistencies like this one. When Grant
  Naylor come up with a good idea (such as the "light bee" -- see "How
  can Rimmer leave the ship?"), they don't worry overmuch about whether
  it contradicts something in a previous episode.  In this case, they
  evidently decided that a larger crew was more appropriate for a ship
  five miles long and three miles in diameter.

  One possible explanation is that the Justice Computer got its
  information from Rimmer's mind, and Rimmer has an inflated notion of
  his own importance.  In addition to overstating his own responsibility
  for the deaths of the crew, he may have exaggerated the number of
  people involved.


Subject: How can Rimmer leave the ship?

  Because Rimmer is a computer-generated hologram, some viewers are
  confused when he leaves Red Dwarf and visits planets, space stations,
  other ships, and so forth.  In early episodes, Rimmer was generated by
  the Red Dwarf's onboard holographic equipment, which allowed him to
  move freely about the ship.  He was also able to travel on the Red
  Dwarf's auxilary vessels (Blue Midget and White Giant), which
  presumably carry their own hologram generators.  He could only visit
  the surface of a planet within a Hologram Projection Cage, as seen in
  "Thanks for the Memory".

  This limitation proved to be inconvenient, so Grant Naylor came up
  with another explanation, the "light bee".  This device is a tapered
  cylinder about one inch in diameter and three inches long that "buzzes
  around inside him and projects his image" (as described by Holly in
  "Meltdown").  The light bee can go anywhere, allowing Rimmer to leave
  the ship without needing a projection cage.

  Some fans have speculated that the light bee was invented sometime
  during Series 2 (by Holly) or Series 3 (by either Holly or Kryten).
  However, this doesn't explain how Rimmer was able to leave the Blue
  Midget and enter the wreck of the Nova 5 in "Kryten", two episodes
  *before* he was shown in a projection cage.


Subject: How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?

  In the episode "Polymorph", a shape-changing creature that feeds on
  emotions invades the Red Dwarf.  This creature uses its shapeshifting
  ability to provoke an emotional response, then attaches a sucker to
  the victim's forehead and sucks out the emotion.  Lister, the Cat,
  Kryten, and Rimmer all succumb to the creature's attack.

  Some fans have asked how the Polymorph could possibly attach its
  sucker to Rimmer (who is, after all, a hologram).  Two possible
  explanations have been suggested: either the sucker actually made
  contact with Rimmer's light bee (see "How can Rimmer leave the
  ship?"), or the Polymorph can change into a hologram.  Holograms can
  touch each other, as demonstrated in "Parallel Universe."


Subject: How many times has Starbug crashed?

  There are at least two vehicles called "Starbug" on board the Red
  Dwarf, and they seem to crash-land or collide with things an awful
  lot.  Crash landings occur in the following episodes:

  "Backwards"                     "Terrorform"
  "Marooned"                      "Psirens"
  "Bodyswap"                      "Gunmen of the Apocalypse"
  "Dimension Jump"                "Emohawk: Polymorph II"

  The crashed Starbug was abandoned on more than one occasion,
  indicating either that more than two of them exist, or that facilities
  exist on board Red Dwarf to manufacture replacement Starbugs.


Subject: Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?

  In "Thanks for the Memory", we learn that Lister had his appendix
  removed years ago.  In "Legion", it gets removed again.  How is this

  Some fans have theorized that Lister's appendix was regenerated in
  "DNA", along with the rest of his body.  In reality, this was a
  continuity error.  The error is briefly referred to and (sort of)
  cleared up in the latest novel RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN (see "What is
  RED DWARF?").  It is also mentioned in the questions section on the
  "Smeg-Ups" video (see "Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?").

Subject: What's in canister 1121?

  According to the RED DWARF QUIZ BOOK (see "Are the books about RED
  DWARF?"), it's the remains of Kristine Kochanski.  When Lister comes
  back to life on the backwards Earth, he discovers that he's married to
  an elderly version of Kochanski.  Presumably, treating the canister
  with gamma and X rays was part of Holly's plan for restoring her to
  life along with Lister.  (If none of this makes any sense to you, you
  haven't read the ending of the novel BETTER THAN LIFE -- see "What is

  The original script for "The End" included a scene (cut from the final
  version) in which Lister placed the powdered remains of each
  crewmember in a separate canister and ejected them all into space (and
  this is done with George McIntyre's remains in the aired version).
  It's reasonable to conclude that Lister did this, although nothing is
  said about it in either the episode or the novel.  The number of
  canisters floating in space ("something in the region of ten
  thousand") is consistent with the size of the crew given in INFINITY
  WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS (eleven thousand, one hundred and


Subject: Are there books about RED DWARF?

  Numerous RED DWARF reference works are available:

  by Bruce Dessau
  ISBN 1-85286-456-7
  Titan, 1992

  This thin little book (95 pages) has a lot of wasted space, but some
  interesting quotes and information and some wonderful color photos
  throughout.  If you're looking for in-depth, solid information about
  the show, this isn't where you'll find it; but if you want a nice,
  light read, a collector's item, and an attractive coffee-table book,
  this is it.  Available in England and at conventions in the U.S.

  by Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons
  ISBN 0-86-369682-1
  Virgin, 1995

  "Everything you never wanted to know about the smash smega-series."
  An in-depth collection (about 230 pages) of information about series
  1-5.  It includes sections on History, The Characters, The Programmes,
  The Index, The Creators (cast and production crew), and The Spin-offs.
  The Index is by far the largest section of the book and is an
  alphabetical list of almost everything mentioned to during the series,
  from "A to Z of Red Dwarf, The" to "Zoom function".

  Note: This book contains an incorrect address for the Official RED
  DWARF Fan Club (U.K.).  For the correct address, see "Are there RED
  DWARF fan clubs?".

  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-017886-4
  Penguin, 1993

  This book contains the complete scripts for "Polymorph," "Marooned,"
  "Dimension Jump," "Justice," "Back to Reality," and "Psirens."  Not
  published in the U.S., but available from John McElroy (see "Where can
  I get other RED DWARF merchandise?") and other distributors of
  imported books.

  by Robert Llewellyn
  ISBN 0-14-023575-2
  Penguin, 1994

  A very nice little book, detailing Llewellyn's involvement in RED
  DWARF from the beginning of Series 3 through the filming of the
  American pilots (see "Is there an American RED DWARF?").  Predictably,
  there is some complaining about the Rubber Mask, but only a little.
  There are plenty of anecdotes and stories, and lots of trivia.  The
  section on the American pilots is especially revealing, and gives some
  plausible reasons why the whole project fell through.  Not an
  essential purchase for RED DWARF fans, but a very good one indeed.

  by Joe Nazzaro
  ISBN 0-14-023206-0
  Penguin, 1994

  A rather slender book with lots of nice colour photographs.  Focuses
  on the making of "Gunmen Of The Apocalypse".  The book goes into a
  fair amount of detail, but nothing that couldn't have been gleaned
  from a half-dozen back issues of the now-defunct SMEGAZINE (see "Are
  there RED DWARF magazines?"). The book's main strength is the added
  material: some great photos, fragments of the original "Gunmen" script
  (mostly stage directions, but also one unfilmed scene) and storyboards
  used in the filming.  The back of the book contains information on how
  you can purchase RED DWARF paraphernalia such as t-shirts, baseball
  caps, and models of Starbug and Kryten.

  by Nicky Hooks and Sharon Burnett
  ISBN 0-14-023662-7
  Penguin, 1994

  RED DWARF trivia and mind-bending teasers.  Contains questions such as
  "What was referred to as a small off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic
  warden?", crosswords, word searches, "who said . . .", information about
  the cast, and photos.  After a while, though, you have to wonder about
  the mind of someone who can put together questions such as "What
  follows the leaflet campaign?" or "What was in canister 1121?"


Subject: Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?

  Yes, fan clubs exist in several countries.  Here's a list:


  This club is based in England, but has addresses in several other
  countries.  Membership includes three issues of their magazine BETTER
  THAN LIFE, a badge, and a membership card.  Membership rates (per year)
  are as follows:

  UK/BFPO      - 8.50 Sterling
  Europe       - 9.50 Sterling equivalent
  Eire         - IR#10     (8.50  Sterling)
  USA          - US$20.00  (??.?? Sterling)
  Australia    - A$27.00   (13.00 Sterling)
  New Zealand  - NZ$32.00  (11.00 Sterling)

  Cash or cheques in your local currency are accepted, but take weeks
  rather than days to clear.  If you prefer to send an International
  Money Order, the equivalent rates are shown above.  Write to:

  U.K.:  40 Pitford Road           Eire:       Caroline Griffin
         Woodley                               67 Rafters Road
         Reading                               Drimnagh
         RG5 4QF                               Dublin 12

  U.S.:  Jupiter Mining Company    Australia:  Tom Marwede
         P.O. Box 13097                        PO Box 1044
         Coyote, CA 95013                      Bundoora 3083

  Note: The address listed in the RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE (see "Are
  there books about RED DWARF?") is incorrect.


  The U.S. fan club appears to be defunct.  Mail sent to the U.S.
  address is being returned, and fans who joined at conventions have not
  received the newsletter or the other materials that should have been
  mailed to them.

  Mike Gardiner  has served as an unofficial Internet
  contact for this club in the past.  If you sent money to the club and
  did not receive what you were promised, contact Mike and he'll try to
  get your money refunded.

  ZED SHIFT (New Zealand)
  PO Box 10104
  New Zealand

  Zed Shift publishes a quarterly magazine (GARBAGE POD), operates a
  mail-order service for New Zealand members, and holds the occasional
  meeting.  Members receive four issues of GARBAGE POD, a guide to RED
  DWARF, a membership card, and a hologram H.

  The cost of one year's membership in NZ dollars is:
  - New Zealand     $15
  - Australia       $20
  - Rest of world   $25

  For a registration form, send an SAE or IRC.

  Sylvia Pranga
  Isolde-Kurz-Str. 145 (36)
  W-4400 Munster-Nienberge

  This club publishes a newsletter (mostly in German) called TALKIE


Subject: Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?

  WORLD WIDE WEB: There are several known RED DWARF home pages.  These
  carry information on scripts, links to the FTP site, quotes, and other

  Paul Wain's page:

  Legion's page:

  The alt.tv.red-dwarf page:

  Mark Gaither's page:

  Fission Chips's page:

| J. Dondzil's page:
| http://www.castle.net/~jdondzil/red-dwarf.html

| Fenric's page:
| http://zen.btc.uwe.ac.uk/~n2-ellis/OtherLinks.html

| Michael Nagy's page:
| http://nucleus.com/~nagym/Red_Dwarf/rdwarf.html

  FTP SITES: Files related to RED DWARF can be found at the following

| ftp.demon.co.uk/pub/humour/red_dwarf

| The site formerly run by Dave Gagne at the University of British
| Columbia is no longer in operation.

| INTERNET RELAY CHAT: Regular IRC parties are held on Sunday nights at
| 20:30, British Summer Time.  Many people from the newsgroup drop in
| both on this night and many other times during the week, on the
| #starbug channel.
| Continent |     North America     |      Europe      |    Australia
| ----------|-----------------------|------------------|----------------
| Time code |     PST        EST    |   GMT   BST/CET  |   WST      EST
| Example   | Los Angeles  New York |  London  Paris   |  Perth   Sydney
| Time      |    11:30      14:30   |  19:30   20:30   |  03:30    05:30
| From GMT  |    -8hrs      -5hrs   |   ---    +1hr    |  +7hrs    +9hrs

| Adam Jewell opens a #RED-DWARF channel on Mon-Thurs from 4:00-8:30
| p.m. EST and from 5:00pm EST "till whenever.

  NEWSGROUP: There is a Usenet newsgroup devoted to news and discussion
  about RED DWARF:


  MAILING LIST: If you have email capability, you can subscribe to a RED
  DWARF mailing list.


  Type the following text as the body of the message:

  subscribe reddwarf Your Name

  Do *not* send to the old uel.ac.uk address.  You won't be subscribed,
  and your message will only make life difficult for the staff at the
  University of East London.


  CompuServe: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British Media SF
  section of the SF & Fantasy Forum.

  America Online: There is an active folder called "Red Dwarf" in the
  Star Trek/Comix/TV/Star Wars Boards in the Science Fiction & Fantasy
  Forum (keyword: sci fi).

  GEnie: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British TV topic of

  Prodigy: The SCIENCE FICTION BB has an active topic called "Red Dwarf".


Subject: Should I post RED DWARF graphic images and sounds?

  Please don't post uuencoded binaries to alt.tv.red-dwarf or to the RED
  DWARF mailing list -- they're for discussion only.  Upload your
  graphic images, sounds, or programs to the FTP site (see "Where can I
  find online information about RED DWARF?") or post them to an
  appropriate alt.binaries.* newsgroup.  Then post an article to
  alt.tv.red-dwarf or the mailing list telling everyone where you put
  the goodies.

  There are good reasons for this request.  First of all, uuencoded
  binaries take up a lot of space.  Many sites simply do not have disk
  space for them.  If you start posting binaries, those sites will be
  forced to drop the newsgroup, depriving everyone at that site of news
  and information about RED DWARF.

  Also, many people have to pay for their net access by the second.
  Huge binaries cost those people a lot of money.  Those people may be
  forced to stop receiving newsgroups and mailing lists to which binaries
  are posted.  Thus we are deprived of their wit and wisdom.

  Summary: If you post binaries, everybody suffers.


Subject: Are there RED DWARF magazines?

  RED DWARF SMEGAZINE, the official magazine for the series, ceased
  publication with Volume 2 Issue 9 (December 1993).  Some back issues
  are available from John McElroy and Star Tech (see "Where can I get
  other RED DWARF merchandise?").

  Several RED DWARF newsletters or fanzines are published by RED DWARF
  fan clubs (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?").  In addition, two
  independent fanzines are known to exist:

  Space Rat Press
  P.O. Box 422
  Park Ridge, NJ 07656 USA

  U.S./Canada/and Mexico: $12 U.S. per issue
  Elsewhere: $15 U.S. per issue

  STASIS LEAK is written by Joe Nazarro, who also wrote THE MAKING OF
  RED DWARF (see "Are there RED DWARF books?") and formerly wrote for
  the SMEGAZINE.  Three issues have been published so far:

  #1  Interviews with Grant Naylor, Chris Barrie, Hattie Hayridge,
      Andria Pannell (makeup designer).  RED DWARF fiction, article on
      U.S. pilot, Series 5 preview and production notes, trivia quiz,
      an "old vs. new" debate, and an episode guide for seasons 1 and 2.
      Black and white photos inside throughout and back cover.  Color
      photo cover of Rimmer from "Holoship."  50 pages.

  #2  Interviews with Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules, plus Craig's
      press conference from Visions '92.  More RED DWARF fiction, book
      reviews, a preview and production notes for Series 6, reader
      survey results, and episode guide for Series 3 and 4.  Black and
      white photos inside, color photo cover of Duane Dibbley.  54

  #3  In diary form, this issue chronicles Nazzaro's experiences on the
      set of the series and provides a glimpse into the editing of THE
      MAKING OF RED DWARF.  It contains all of the material that didn't
      make it into that book, including behind-the-scenes photos and
      script outtakes.  [Does anyone have a page count? -- PMB]

  Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe
  Footrot Flats
  916 Lamb Road
  Mason, WI 48854 USA

  U.S./Canada/Mexico: $7 U.S.
  Elsewhere: inquire

  Devoted entirely to original RED DWARF fiction.  One issue so far,
  containing four stories: "Special Delivery," "Companionship," "Virus,"
  and "A RED DWARF Christmas Carol."  The last three form a sort of
  trilogy.  Center artwork and color artwork cover. 5 1/2 x 8 1/2, 56

| Time Meddlers of Los Angeles
| P.O. Box 4092
| North Hollywood, CA 91617-0092
| $10.00 postpaid, photocopied
| Primarily fiction.  The November 1994 issue contains the following
| stories:
| "Homecoming" by Joshua Lou Friedman
| "Introspection and Catharsis" by Jill Sherwin
| "Fuschal" by Matthew G. Mitchell
| "Hairball" by David McGorray
| "Judgment Day" by Brenda M. Sulley
| "The Quagaar" by Dean Kaufman
| "Company of Heroes" by Derek Spencer & Jeff McCree
| "Body Language" by Jim Shaun Lyon
| as well as an article called "Recipes from the Talky Toaster" by Dana
| Lynn Roberts, with interior art by Deanna Bayless and cover by Marlys
| Walburger.


Subject: Is there a RED DWARF computer game?

  Not yet, but there may be one someday.  Dino Boni, a journalist
  working for a U.K. computer magazine, reported in June 1994 that two
  software companies were considering publishing a graphical RED DWARF
  adventure game for the IBM PC.

  axel@origin.ea.com reports the following: "In 1991 I was working for
  Imagitec Design, a computer games company based in Dewsbury, West
  Yorkshire, England.  We had a full game design/plot written up and
  partially storyboarded, ready to be submitted for approval from Grant
  & Naylor.  They were very excited about the prospect of a game since
  the 'Better Than Life' theme would link nicely to the series.  We
  approached Gremlin Graphics, in Sheffield, to handle the licensing.
  The deal came to a standstill when Noel Gay TV wanted way too much
  money for the license and so the game never saw the light of day."

  There are two DOS computer viruses ("Pathogen" and "Queeg") written by
  an anonymous person who is apparently a RED DWARF fan.  When
  activated, the "Pathogen" virus displays the following message:

Your hard-disk is being corrupted, courtesy of PATHOGEN!
 Programmed in the U.K.  (Yes, NOT Bulgaria!) [C] The Black Baron 1993-4.
  Featuring SMEG v0.1:  Simulated Metamorphic Encryption Generator!
   'Smoke me a kipper, I`ll be back for breakfast.....'
     Unfortunately some of your data won't!!!!!

  These viruses were first detected in February of 1994.  Reuters
  reported on 22 July 1994 that a man in Plymouth, England, had been
  arrested and charged with creating the viruses.


Subject: Has RED DWARF won any awards?

  At the 1994 International Emmy Awards, the RED DWARF episode "Gunmen
  of the Apocalypse," tied with ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS (Series 2:
  "Hospital") in the Popular Arts category.  The International Emmys are
  awarded by the International Council of the National Academy of TV
  Arts & Sciences.  RED DWARF was also nominated for International Emmys
  in 1987, 1989, and 1992.

  At the 1994 British Comedy Awards, RED DWARF won Best BBC Situation

  At Eastercon 1989 and 1992, RED DWARF received the Best Dramatic
  Dresentation award.  At the Cult TV 1994 convention, awards were
  presented to Grant Naylor (Best Writers) and RED DWARF (Best Show).


Subject: What are the Space Corps Directives?

  The following Space Corps Directives are mentioned in episodes of RED

  Article 5         Gross negligence leading to the endangerment of
                    personnel.  ("Queeg")

  Article 169       [Exact text not given, but similar to 195.]

  Article 195       In an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic
                    crewmember must lay down his life in order that the
                    living crewmembers might survive.  ("White Hole")

  Article 312       [Quarantine berths must] provide minimum leisure
                    facilities.  ("Quarantine")

  Article 497       You have to work to earn credits for food.  ("Queeg")

  Article 597       One [quarantine] berth per crew member.

  Article 699       [A crew member may] demand a re-screening after five
                    days in quarantine.  ("Quarantine")

  Article 1742      No member in the Corps should ever report for active
                    duty in a ginger toupee.  ("Psirens")

  Article 1743      No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an
                    asteroid belt without deflectors.  ("Psirens")

  Article 5796      No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is
                    permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.

  Article 5797      [Exact text not given, but has to do with Lister
                    being unable to enter the ship for the safety of the
                    crew.]  ("Psirens")

  Article 34124     No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex
                    in zero gravity.  ("Legion")

  Article 68250     [Exact text not given, but involves at least one
                    live chicken and a rabbi.]  ("Emohawk: Polymorph II")

  Article 196156    Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the
                    exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be
                    discharged without trial.  ("Rimmerworld")

  (No # given)      It is our primary overriding duty to contact other
                    life forms, exchange information, and, whenever
                    possible, bring them home.  ("Polymorph")

  Two All Nations agreements are also mentioned, both in "Gunmen of the

  75880932/C        The right of POW's to non-violent constraint.

  39436175880932/B  All nations attending the conference are only
                    allowed one car-parking space.

  Finally, Rimmer cites the following two "Rimmer Directives":

  Article 271       No chance, you metal bastard!  ("White Hole")

  (No # given)      Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth
                    than the entire Osmond family.  ("Polymorph")


End of RED DWARF Frequently Asked Questions List (FAQ)

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