Items of trivia supplied by the ever generous cma.
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In 1990 Grant Naylor and Viking books got together and produced a promotional flyer for the forthcoming release of "Better Than Life".
The flyer was a cardboard mock up of a fake "Time Out" cover, only called "Spaced Out". It was issue 1, published June 3491224AD, at the Earth price of UKP495,000. Proprietor: Robot Maxwell, Editors: Android Neil, Android Whittam-Smith. There was the RD elipse and a picture of Grant Naylor on the front who were advertised as being inside, "a two-headed mythical beast joined at the wallet since birth."
The inside was mainly filled by the blurb to BTL and the usual Grant Naylor biography notes. The same picture from the front appears, but enlarged. There is also a "What the critics said" piece which quotes The Independent, Times, TLS, Angling Times, Melvyn Bragg and Kingsley Amis all saying " ", and The Sunday Times saying "Hysterical".
The back was filled with details about how the book would be promoted: Nationwide author promotion to include bookshop signings. Poster. National and local press advertising. Third series of BBC TV's Red Dwarf to be repeated to coincide with publication. New series to be transmitted commencing February 1991. Red Dwarf graphic novel published simultaneously in Penguin.
A picture of the original cover art is then displayed. This is not the cover art that was used. It is the same as the IWCD cover, but without the sign. The top carries the line "Be transported to a perfect world of your imagination, read"
Then the title is splashed across the top of the planet picture. Below and to the right of the elipse are the phrases, "Meet Elvis, Einstein, God and the kids!", "Go to a stag party with JFK and Al Capone!", "Have your body reposessed by debt collectors!"
During the filming of series six Danny John-Jules and Craig charles were wont to go clubbing together. At that time the clubs were just beginning to play the as yet unreleased "Jump Around" by House of Pain. A result of which was seen at the episode recordings. Every time a break in recordings ocurred one would start singing the lyrics, and the other would join in. So, all together now, guys:
Pack it up,
Pack it in,
Let me begin...!
Red Dwarf, Series 2: Better Than Life, Draft 2
*1*
R: ...sit there for three hours and watch it burn.
L: Rimmer, they're not capable of emotion. It's not built into their
software.
R: They fiddle with one another.
L: What?
R: I've seen 'em. Fiddling. They fiddle with each other.
L: What, you mean sexually?
R: No, I mean they've modified each other. They've added extra circuits.
L: They're the most basic mechanical aids around. They're only slightly
more sophisiticated than a spanner.
R: All right then, why are they always in the cinema watching John Wayne
movies?
L: They're cleaning it.
R: Have you seen their broom cupboard....
*2*
R: ...entertainmebt cassettes, new batch of movies.
LISTER PICKS SOME UP
L: Friday 13th part 1,649.
R: Haven't we seen that one?
L: No, we saw Friday the Thirteenth Part 1,648.
R: Oh, right. That's the one where they all get killed, yes?
L: Cassablanca? how can you remake Cassablanca? The one starring Fred Keel
and Myra Binglebat was definitive.
H: I saw that one, classic. "Of all the space bars in all the worlds, you
had to remolecularise in mine. You played it for the android, now play it
for me. Play it Stan."
R: There's a cassette of a whole year of Earth News! We can catch up on all
the assassinations and disasters.
L: Two seasons...
*3*
L: TIVs? They're brilliant! They're like, un-get-holdable of. It's like
Venus's arms. It's like the Pope's spermatozoa. You cannot get them for
love nor money.
*4*
G(ordon): How do you switch this thing off then?
A HORRIBLE PAUSE THEN HE DISAPPEARS
H: Genius is not a word I would shirk from using in connection with Gordon.
And genius is not a word I use lightly for I am not a football commentator.
GORDON REAPPEARS AND LOOKS UP, SURPRISED
G: What's the red light doing on? Am I recording again? Sorry. Thought that
was the rewind button. See you.
L: You were playing postal chess...
*5*
R: ...although my IQ isn't.
L: Me..me...you...me...me...
R: "Please send me my complete set of glass jars containing pickled
portions of the human anatomy, starting with my free distended sphincter.
Week by week I will see my collection grow until I have a sickening array
of human insides with which to amaze all my relatives."!
L: Me... me... me... Smeg. Outland revenue...
*6*
R: They'll find us! I'll be thinking about this all the time now...
L: Me.... me... me... Hey, another one for you.
R: Well, go on, I can't open it.
LISTER TAKES ANOTHER FROM RIMMER'S TINY PILE
L: (Reads): Dear Mr Rimmer, You have now completed 8 lessons in our
"Management and Leadership course". As promised in our guarantee we are
returning you cheque as you have made zero progress.We would, however, like
to use your photograph in our forecoming advertising campaign. It would be
accompanied with the slogan, "Hapless? Helpless? Hopeless? Don't be like
him - we can help you!"
R: Yes, yes. Ha smegging ha. When did you send that?
L: When we were on leave on Titan.
R: Yes, it's a very funny joke, no matter how many times you do it.
L: You fell for it the first time.
R: Yes, I nearly split my rectum with laughter.
L: (Mimicking) "Hey, I'm going to have my photograph on the Are You
Impotent? adverts! I'll be famous!"
R: Tee hee hoddle ha.
L: Flight co-ordinator...
In July 1993 there was what was described as a Dr Who auction in Cheshunt. Twelve items from Red Dwarf also went up for auction including Lister's London Jets T-shirt which was sold for UKP210.
An empty leopard lager can went for UKP80, but the biggest rip off of the lot was a Mugs Murphy T shirt. The item was sold under the pretence that it had been worn on TV, but although we have seen Lister in a number of these (D-d-d-d-don't shoot!) the white on black print that was sold never actually appeared in the show. Despite this the buyer (probably believing it had been worn by Craig Charles) parted with UKP125.
Dontcha think they maybe have a point when they say we're mad...?
Mr Flibble was a purpose designed prop for Red Dwarf, and there were three made. One was taken home by one of the women who worked in the costume and props department. One sits in the offices of Grant Naylor productions, and the third was sold in auction at Dimension Jump 1993. The auction was co-hosted by Danny John-Jules and Mr Flibble went for UKP180.
Kathryn George, the 14 year old who bought it had saved most of the money for the auction and borrowed the rest from her mother. She later said when asked why she felt she had to buy it:
"I don't know *why*, I just thought that's Mr Flibble, he's up for sale, I'm gonna buy him if it kills me!"
Danny John-Jules was the first of the current cast to get the part in Red Dwarf.
Having read the script Danny worked on his own interpretation of the character and turned up for the audition wearing a reasonably outrageous outfit and with his hair in Cat style. He proceeded to enact the part causing Rob, Doug and the other present at the casting session to fall about laughing. "He is the Cat!" they were saying.
Danny was then told, "You've got the part, but we're obliged to see the others really."
Thrilled, Danny thanked them, then asked "How many guys have you seen so far?"
The reply was probably slightly disheatening: "Oh, you're the first..."
Craig Charles spent some time hosting a kids TV series which was designed to introduce them to various types of music. It was called "What's That Noise". In the second series he appeared wiuth his (then) group called "The Sons Of Gordon Gecko" and they sang two songs. The latter, "Cash" is the song heard on "Timeslides", but the other one (which Bruno Brooks at the time referred to as "The forthcoming single..." - this was in 1989, i think!) was called "Back To The Sunshine".
The lyrics are as follows:
She was born in June, she says she's partial to the sun,
She's selling ices on the corner, she's handing out the fun,
She's going back to the sunshine,
Back to the sunshine.
She's gonna find out, what life's all about.
She knows that she could end up, like those other nervous wrecks,
But she does it for the money, and the travellers cheques,
She's going back to the sunshine,
She's going back to the sunshine.
Could put a ring on the finger, of a marrying hand
So we could run barefoot through the sea, the sun and sand,
We're going back to the sunshine,
We're going back to the sunshine
We're gonna find out, what life's all about.
(Music break)
If I'm honest with myself, it's not the best way to start,
It's no fun in the sun when it's raining in your heart,
She's going back to the sunshine,
Back to the sunshine,
She's gonna find out, what life's all about.
You know she says that it makes sense, in a funny sort of way,
Cos if she wasn't selling ices she'd be giving them away,
She's going back to the sunshine,
Back to the sunshine
Ooh, ooh,
Back to the sunshine
Back to the sunshine...
Meaningful lyrics, there, Craig (;
DNA (originally titled Do Not Alter) was recorded on 20.12.90. The chicken and the hamster which were involved in the shoot were the only members of the cast to have to share a dressing room. This was number 13, and their call time was 10.00.
Suzanne Rhatigan was tentatively planned to be included in the episode and the machine voice was going to be Peter Spraggon rather than Richard Ridings.
You'll have noticed of course that over the various seasons the "H" Rimmer wears has changed over the seasons. Despite this they have all been held on in the same manner. Double sided sticky tape - no more nor less. Unfortunately after a couple of hours under the hot studio lights this method isn't much use and the sweat on Chris's forehead causes it to drop off.
The H signs from previous years have vanished into the unknown place with all the ball point pens I've ever owned, but Season six saw only one "H" used. This was made out of a clear plastic with hologram effect behind it. After recordings the "H" was recovered from the dressing room by The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club (with permission from both Chris Barrie and the make-up artists) and subsequently given away as a prize. The said item is now the sole property of Matthew Borg who was so thrilled he told all his mates before getting his hands on it!
Craig Charles was never intended for the part of Lister. Lister was originally a white male with no Scouse roots.
Craig Charles got to see the pilot script when Paul Jackson offered it to him to get feedback on whether the Cat role was an offensive stereo-type which would offend the black community. Paul was aware of Craig having worked with him on Saturday Night Live.
Craig read the script, liked it and gave it back to Paul Jackson, saying, "It's not stereo-typed and can I play Lister?" Paul Jackson then recommended Grant Naylor included him in their casting session...
By the end of season six recordings moral was dropping after a long hard slog for everyone involved. Rob and Doug had been giving in scripts later and later in what came to be referred to by Chris Barrie as "Poor production standards".
If you've wondered why there are times when the characters are looking off set instead of at who they're talking to, then the revelation that auto-cue systems were in use throughout the series should go some way to explaining it.
One of the worst moments for the series during pre-production happened during the final recording - Out Of Time (originally called Present From The Future). About half an hour into the three hour recording the lights flickered, then failed along with all other electrics. Cast, crew and audience were plunged into darkness for only seconds before a back up generator cut in and normality was restored.
Worse was to follow with Craig Charles' sudden revelation that the auto-cue systems had also cut out and the scripts on screen were replaced by a trade mark...
Luckily the systems still contained the text, and had only returned to the start up screen. A few adjustments and things were running smoothly again within minutes. But it's something worth remembering next time you're cursing your computer after a crash - it happens to the best of us...
In 1991 Chris Barrie reported his collar size to be 15 1/2
In the Red Dwarf Quiz Book Rob Grant and Doug Naylor both reveal that they wish they had never removed the following scene from Polymorph II (Emohawk):
Duane: ... thick condom. You never know!
Ace: All set then old mucker? Let's step into the airlock and get
part two of the plan underway.
D: Oh? what plan's this?
A: Just step in, Duane, old man.
DUANE AND ACE STEP INTO THE AIRLOCK
D: So, uh, what precisely is the plan, then?
A: Why don't you just stand in front of me, like this, you'll feel more
comfortable.
D: Ok. Uh, why are we in this airlock?
ACE PUTS HIS ARMS ROUND DUANE'S SHOULDERS READY TO SNAP HIS NECK
A: Just relax old chum. Just sending you on ahead.
D: I'm the scout party?
A: Sort of.
D: Can I ask you a question?
A: Fire away Mr D.
D: Do you think it's wrong for a thirty two year old man to... have his own
yo-yo?
A: No, old friend, that's not wrong. It's totally normal.
D: And do you think it would be wrong for that same man to sometimes want
to stand around in his polyester balaclava and play with that yo-yo?
Practising some snazzy moves in order to attract women.
ACE RELEASES DUANE
A: I can't do it, damn it. It'd be like garrotting Bambi.
WE HEAR A SMALL EXPLOSION AND LISTER AND KRYTEN BURST IN THROUGH THE ENGINE ROOM DOORS. LISTER IS CARRYING A LIQUID OXYGEN CANNISTER AND A HOSE WHICH WILL FIRE SMOKE...
(Script resumes with what was broadcast)
When Craig Charles did his first stint of DJ-ing for Kiss FM he would regularly phone people up first thing in the morning and get them to record a jingle for him to use in the show. This recording is of Craig and Danny, and begins halfway through because people don't tend to have tapes all set up to record stuff at 7am...
Craig: ...you do this, you know. I mean, you always want your friends to
get on but only as long as they're not getting on better than you...
Danny: Yeah, yes. You know Craig, now I've got cable there's fifty
channels or something right, and you're on all of them.
C: (laughs)
D: You're on every channel. Every time I turn the telly on you're there.
Every time I turn on my radio, you're there.
C: Danny, listen, I'm thinking about getting my own channel, the Craig
Charles channel.
D: But you've already got it! You OWN the network.
C (Laughs) so erm, you doing Red Dwarf?
D: Yeah
C: You've sorted out all your contractual niggles and that?
D: Errr yeah, yeah... I think so.
C: cos I know you were locked in kind of "Contractual negotiations"
D: Yeah...
C: Has that all been sorted?
D: Yeah, well I've only got one ball and chain now.
C: so I'm looking forward to working with you again?
D: Yeah, so erm, when you gonna give me a job on your show, man?
C: Listen, I was gonna say, no more stage show? You were in Carmen Jones,
you were great in that.
D: Yeah, I was in that for a year, man.
C: That little double act you did with that guy, what was his name?
D: Clive Roe (sp?), yeah.
C: That little double act was great. The best thing about the WHOLE show
was your curtain call.
D: Oh you liked that?
C: It was brilliant when you rolled the hat down your arm and that.
D: Oh that, show business...
C: Yeah Mista Show bis-niss!
D: Yes man, but not a lot of people get to see that stuff, you know, cos
they don't go to the theatre.
C: You're the cat in Red Dwarf, you're completely cool, so I want you to do
a jingle for me, as the Cat, okay? So I want you to go "I'm the cat, Danny
John-Jules on Red Dwarf and if I ever get down to Earth I'm gonna listen to
Craig Chalres on Kiss 100, Awooga, awooga."
D: Right... hang on, let me just gargle the old Dettol.
C (Laughs)
D: (Odd voice - not much like Cat, actually!) My name's Danny John-Jules
and I'm the Cat from Red Dwarf, and if I ever get to Earth I'm gonna listen
to Craig Charles on Kiss FM, Waaaaaaah! Awooga, awooga! Ha ha!
C: Brilliant! So Danny, I've gotta go now.
D: Yeah man
C: Thanks for the jingle.
D: Yeah.
C: I've gotta go, I've got a morning show to run, so get back to bed, and I
hope she's very sexy.
D: Yeah man.
C: Finish that dream, and don't let me in it.
D: But I'll see you soon, anyway.
C: All right man, look after yourself.
D: Bye then.
C: That's my mate, Danny John-Jules, rockin' in the AM!
The ongoing saga of the Space Weevil.....
During recording there are inevitable re-takes (the Smeg Ups show exactly why), though a re-take isn't always easy.
When Legion was recorded the scene where Lister eats the space Weevil salad caused problems. Only one Space Weevil existed, and since a bite had already been taken the retake involved careful arranging of the salad on the plate to disguise it.
After recording a couple of fans in the audience approachd Danny John-Jules and asked if they could have the remains. This was handed over and they (Ian Cattle and Dermot Pearson) submitted a photograph of themselves with it to the Smegazine. This appeared on the Hollygrams page of volume two, number seven.
You can't help wondering what state it's in now though, when you consider that Peter Wragg and his team created it, and it's made from a bread like substance with icing sugar and colouring...
At the end of a season of recordings the cast and crew of Red Dwarf hold a party to celebrate the end of the work. This is held after the final episode recording, and whilst the general public used to be able to wander in, the season six party was strictly invited guests only. This is basically a way for the guys to wind down after the long hard slog and to say goodbyes to people they won't be working with again for a while.
The season six party took place in The Conservatory at Shepperton Studios. There was a free bar (up to a certain limit), food and karaoke.
Chris Barrie was celebrating his birthday around that time, and was in high enough spirits to offer a comic rendition of something called Billy (or was it Johnny?) Don't Be a Hero, complete with comedy voices and mock tears. Other cast and crew members joined in with various oldies, Danny John-Jules choosing to pair up with one of the Kinatawowi (*out* of costume!) for his number.
As well as the expected guests the likes of the audience liaison guy from the ticket company, the warm up man, Joe Nazarro and Jane Killick were there. Jane actually underwent a slight embarrassment when she found that while sitting next to Chris Barrie, believing she was sipping at her drink of wine she was actually downing his own birthday champagne...
The party ended at around 4am and Danny was whisked off to the Trek Dwarf convention. In case anyone's interested, it can be reported that Springer, the props buyer was among the last to leave, somewhat worse for the drink... or was it the hard work? Yeah, must've been that (;
Further to the party held to celebrate the end of recordings the Red Dwarf cast and crew met once again on 12th November, this time to celebrate the end of *broadcast* of Red Dwarf VI.
The invites went out to the cast and crew and read:
Wanted
Being so long after recording, not so many people made it to this event
though most of the cast popped in at some point. One of the most amusing
things about the night was watching the "mighty fancily" dressed.
Rob and Doug were both in cowboy gear, as were their wives. Rob seemed to
have raided the costume department of the producers of The Magnificent
Seven, whilst Doug was in an attire that can only be equalled by Steve
Martin in Parenthood.
Food was provided though most drinks had to be bought. A lot of time was
spent browsing through copies of reviews the series had provoked in various
newspapers and magazines.
Various music was played through the night, and on Danny's arrival he
agreed to a live rendition of Tongue Tied. There was live music by a pre
Red Nex cajun band whose repertoir included an impressive version of the
Red Dwarf Theme tune.
It's been said of the night, "You ain't heard the tune until you've heard
it played on a banjo..."
The episode Thanks For The Memory shares a secret with Stasis Leak - one of
the characters is not played by who you would think it is. Most people have
already heard that Kochanski was not played by CP Grogan in the final
Stasis Leak scene, but by Donna DiStefano, the floor manager(?) in a big
floppy hat. This was because the scenes with CP Grogan were pre-recorded.
Because Kochanski has no actual lines in the final scene it was overlooked,
and when they came to record someone else had to step in.
In Stasis Leak it is Lister who was played by another actor (sorry, I don't
know who). This is because at the time the planet and moon scenes were
being recorded Craig's (then) wife, Cathy Tyson was pregnant. The scenes
were filmed in a Welsh quarry and during recording Craig was called by
telephone because Cathy had gone into labour. He rushed back to be with her
and see the birth of his son, but unfortunately was too late. He later said
that if he could re-live a moment in his life it would be that moment that
never happened when he saw his son born.
The scenes where Lister is played by another actor are those where he is in
the space suit carrying the grave stone round. All the shots where Lister's
foot is not broken were not shots of Craig. The voice over, however, is
Craig and this was taped at a later date.
Having chosen Danny John-Jules as much for his ingenuity as for his
suitability for the part as Cat. Rob and Doug continued to be impressed by
his performance.
Reporting to the Birmingham Science Fiction Group in 1991 they expressed
their delight at the way Danny would keep his best performance until the
recording. When Justice was taped Danny grabbed the guys before he went on
set, and insisted they "Check this". What was scripted as "Cat hits the
simulant on the head and falls over" became the manic grinning collapse
that Danny created. It had both the cast and the audience in stiches.
Interestingly the audience at the recording didn't see the final scene of
Justice where Lister falls down a man hole, probably because at that time
it hadn't been recorded. Even after Danny's performance it seems Rob and
Doug wanted a stronger ending to the show.
Okay... now this is *tentative* trivia. This is trivia about the future, so
it may never happen. but if it *does* remember, you heard it here first!
During an interview that took place whilst Robert Llewellyn was in
Australia recently, he revealed (possibly jokingly) that there are plans
for him to write two episodes of Red Dwarf VII.
Remember: Nothing is set in stone regarding RDVII. Chris Barrie has
reservations right now about doing a seventh series (yes, this is current
information, I have it from the man himself) and is describing himself as
being "in dispute with the show".
Robert, meanwhile, is keeping himself busy and has written a book about
himself in the 60s called "Thin, he was, with filthy hair" as well as a
film (for TV, I believe) called The Analyst.
You are invited to
A SHOOT OUT
with drinkin' and eatin'
at
South of the Border, 8/10 Joan Street, London SE1
on
Friday 12th November 1993
7.30pm to high noon.
Dress: mighty Fancy
No spittin'
No brawlin'
No drinkin' from the spittoon
RSVP Helen at Grant Naylor Productions
Tel: (CMA interrupts: You don't think I'm gonna broadcast that to the
entire world, do you?!) (Hey, wait a minute, who am I interrupting?!)
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